Okay, so that last one was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek but it just came off as really depressing. Not emo-fabulous. Just depressing. My apologies.
That friend I mentioned in that last blog and I had a really great reunion in the rain under a lamp post. There were tears and hugs. It was like a Cameron Crow movie BUT IN REAL LIFE!!
Speaking of James Cameron, the Terminator movies are the best, aren't they? All of them except for the third one. But we don't count that one, do we?
Every time I'm on a motorbike, jumping over the L.A. River with a semi on my heels, I think about that squeaky voiced Eddie Furlong. Did you know he was denied the role for John Connor in that abomination that is Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines because he was such a drug addict? Ironically, John Connor is a drug addict in the third movie.
Also, Eddie Furlong was arrested for liberating lobsters from a grocery store in Kentucky in 2004? God bless him.
I put together this show for HUGE Theater called Class of '94. It's set in 1993 and it's based on After School Specials so we'll be dealing with things like obesity, school shootings and adoption. Y'know, normal high school problems. In my research for the show, I've discovered that I know a lot about the early '90s. A LOT. I don't mean historically or politically, I just mean culturally. And since I'm American, I only mean culture from the U.S.
In my mind, there is nothing cooler than Michael Jackson at the 1993 Super Bowl. The only thing that could possibly top that show would be if Ace of Base, Paula Abdul, Nirvana and R.E.M. had joined him onstage for an epic rendition of "Word Up." Alas, it shall never happen and I'm left to dream about how the world could've been a better place had it happened. I bet Gore would've won in 2000 had that show taken place.
Super Bowl shows today are ridiculous. Madonna, being from the late 80s/early 90s, was alright but there seems to be a pattern emerging in who they choose for the halftime shows. In the last 22 years, at least 14 of the acts they've chosen are washed up old people like Aerosmith, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Diana Ross, the Who and Phil Collins. Don't get wrong, I love these performers but c'mon... really? C'mon... Try to pick someone a little more recent, eh?
I realize I'm harping on something that happened months ago but the truth is, I don't care about basketball so why should I pay attention to the Super Bowl? All I know is that the Twins will never make it there and the only time I'll ever watch it is if Michael Jordan plays in it.
Blerg! I had at least 1/8th of this block written and then I accidentally closed the window. Son of a bee sting...
Anyway, I was supposed to have this written yesterday but I'm a huge procrastinator. For being unemployed, I'm pretty unproductive when it comes to tasks I've assigned to myself. I tend to buck the "system" I put it place for myself and I fail. But hey, I'd rather fail at blogging than fail while on duty as a Paramedic.
The picture above is an actual photo of me from today. That's my favorite shirt.
Today, I was emo-fabulous for no apparently reason which I suppose is the definition of "emo." Being bummed out for no real reason. Since Urban Dictionary has over 1,000 definitions of "emo" on their site and I have undiagnosed ADD which prevents me from reading more than 10 words consecutively, I decided to write one myself and post it here.
emo noun e·mo [ee-moh]:
1. Carolyn Blomberg when she hears any song by Tegan and Sarah
2. Carolyn Blomberg when she looks at her mounting student debt, realizing she has no "real" job.
3. Carolyn Blomberg when she thinks about her dog Annie's mortality.
4. Carolyn Blomberg when thinks about an old friend who refuses to text her back for some reason and she has no idea what that reason is.
Only 2 of the 4 definitions above were pertinent today. Now that I've written them out, they're all pertinent.
Little Annie Bear Fluffy Head is 13 already....
The last one is the most pertinent for today. I had one of those friends who I totally thought would be a bride's maid for me someday. She's so badass. She has ovaries of steel and seemingly doesn't give a shit about what anyone thinks of her. Long story short, she's friends with an ex and I essentially lost her in the divorce. The ex and I are kosher now so I reached out to her but she won't get back to me. It's a big, fat bummer to say the least.
Oh, one more reason I was feeling like scheisse today was that I saw a Hennepin County ambulance on Lyndale today and it made me miss working in EMS. A lot. A lot a lot. It probably doesn't help that I've been watching a buttload of Rescue Me on Netflix. (Really great show).
On the plus side! I had a really great burger at Muddy Waters today. I was all "om nom nom nom."
The probably soon to be dead Annie Bear Fluffy Head Poopy Pants.
<-- This is the picture that showed up when I googled "blomblog"
It's been like 2 weeks since I blorg'd last. I'm sorry. I just can't find anything worth blogging about! Plus, I've been extraordinarily lazy as of late. I woke up at 4pm yesterday. When you oversleep a 2pm appointment there's something seriously wrong with you. And by "you" I mean me.
I google'd "blog topics" and this is what I found. Below each topic is my opinion (because it's MY blog):
Hm... self improvement... I'm on (f)unemployment and I spend most of my days watching Rescue Me and Saved by the Bell on Netflix. I've improved myself by getting off of foodstamps! Hooray! As for hypnosis, staring at a blank Word document tends to lull me into a state of hypnosis where I daydream about what it would be like to...
Health & Fitness for Busy People
Because of my busy sleep schedule, I like to work out by walking from my bed to the bathroom at *least* three times during the day. Bonus: being broke is a great way to lose weight.
Language Learning Blogs
Ah languages! I took French for about 14 years and all I really remember is "your head looks like a cabbage." Pretty sexy. As for Spanish, I know how to say "my arms feel like jelly." Oh and in German I can say "my monkey smells of urine." You'd be surprised at how often my skills come in handy.
How to Travel on a Budget
As I mentioned before, I went to LA for about a week. My suggestions for a cheap trip include befriending someone who has a lot of frequent flier miles they can't use, staying with a friend and sightseeing at Scientology-related museums. They never charge!
I rescued a squirrel once. I named it Frances Nutters. I have no idea if it was a boy or a girl. I fed it Carnation evaporated milk. I didn’t know evaporated milk was supposed to be diluted. Nutters got really fat and had diarrhea. But it survived! Then my mom brought Nutters to the small animal hospital while I was at work one day. I have yet to forgive her.
Social Dynamics & Communication Skills
I’m pretty bad at this one. Whenever I meet a new person, I feel like they can see right into my skull and they know all of my darkest secrets. Like how I frequent www.findadeath.com or that I have a book called “the Encyclopedia of Serial Killers” sitting under my Bible on my nightstand.
I’ve only had to defend myself physically once and that was when I was pantsed in high school. This kid pantsed me every day for about a month and finally, I punched him in the face, kneed him in the balls and punched him in the gut. It was great. He never pantsed me again. He’s a lawyer now.
Recipes for couples without children
Pizza Rolls and orange juice and/or coffee and cheez-its. And gummi-worms.
Male guide to female communication
Girls hate it when guys aren’t confident. We also hate it when they're overconfident.
Someone called me a “whore” once via facebook message. I figured he was too much of a coward to say it to my face, so I was all “wtf, lulz.”
Behavioral disorders in children
All children everywhere have behavioral disorders. The solution: leashes. OR not having kids.
I went on a date once where the guy took me Frisbee golfing. Here’s the actual transaction that occurred:
Me: So, do you like to read?
Him: Oh sure, I read a lot of manuals… pamphlets, y’know, that sort of thing. How about you?
Me: Oh yeah, I love to read. Especially autobiographies.
Him: Heh, I dunno about that…
He’s a doctor now.
I prefer steak, personally. But burgers are great. I’ve lived in Minneapolis my entire life (minus 7 months while I was in Denver) and I’ve never had a Juicy Lucy. I even know the owner of Matt’s Bar. There is no excuse.
I saw a ghost once. He(?) was staring at me while I was showering. I screamed but he didn't go away. It's weird, he looks so much like my landlord. It must be a dead relative of his.
Build a Boat and Cross the Pacific in it
This is impossible! No one has ever crossed the Pacific. Ever.
The End of the World and the Maya Prophecies for December 21st, 2012
My birthday is December 22.
The Best "Places" Around the World
I don't know why "places" is in quotes. How could that be misconstrued? Either way, my favorite "places" in the world include but are not limited to the bathroom at the Grand Cafe because it's really fancy, Buenos Aires, the inside of a Hennepin County ambulance, and of course HUGE Theater.
I need more topics! I promise I'll write a real blog next week and I'll do it every Wednesday from now on.
Tell me what I should blog about in the comment section!
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