I've been inexplicably annoyed and frustrated this past week. I couldn't figure out why until I looked at the calendar and saw that Sunday (9/16) was my one year anniversary of unemployment. I'm not sure I've taken full advantage of not having a set schedule for the last 12 months. I did do a lot of cool stuff (ie; going to Los Angeles, taking a road trip from L.A. back to Minneapolis, seeing Die Fokken Antwoord TWICE, and so so so much improv). It's been a pretty fabulous year so far but I can't help but feel like I could've done a lot more self improvement type stuff. I always tell myself I'm going to take an hour every day and write whatever's on my mind whether it's funny or not but every time I try to do that, my brain goes blank as soon as the pen hits the paper. It might explain why these blogs are so far apart. Instead of doing what I said I wanted to do, I've taken this time to catch up on Law & Order: SVU, Eerie, Indiana, Saved by the Bell, and 30 Rock along with a bunch of documentaries. I can't say it hasn't been worth it. It's made for some epic dreams.
Now that I have a job sort of waiting for me as long as I can chuck 180 lbs around, I'm having this weird crisis. It's been a year since I've done anything related to medicine and I'm not sure how I feel about that. On one hand, I miss the stink of antiseptic in the morning and being yelled at incoherently by intoxicated patients but on the other hand, both of those things kind of suck. I find myself wishing I was one of those people (like my mom) who's known exactly what they were meant to do with their lives since conception. My mom knew she wanted me be a Nurse pretty much since she was self-aware. She went to school for it, graduated at 21 and got married a week later and she's been doing the same-ish thing for the last 36 years. In some ways that admirable, in other ways... that sounds super boring. I like unexpectedness as long as it's semi-controlled, as in, when I'm in control of it. It might be why I liked being a Paramedic, when things started going South with a patient I had the answer (it's usually electrocution). It's also probably why I like improv, it's not scripted and I never know what to expect but I have a say in how it goes. It's also probably why I hated school and could never concentrate enough to get super awesome grades. Or maybe it was the undiagnosed ADD.
So I don't know if I want to be a medic or a Nurse or an actor or an administrative assistant or a vagrant. I'm closer to being a vagrant than anything else right now, so hey - may as well follow that path. In all honesty, I'm a little terrified about having absolutely no safety net other than my folks. At 27, I "should" have some kind of steady job, a healthy savings account, maybe a potential suitor with whom I would have little Blombabies eventually. Instead, I live with my parents, I play make-believe every night, and I'm eligible for food stamps. Insert 47% joke here. Now this is not a "woe is me" type of blog although it's sort of coming off that way. This is more of a "what the hell am I doing with my life?" type of blog. I really have no idea. I could blame it on the economy but that seems like an easy way out. Instead, I'm gonna blame it on my ADD.
In my frantic attempt at finding some kind of suitable job in the Twin Cities, I resorted to... Craigslist.... I was trying so hard to avoid that website. I should've kept on avoiding it because the very first thing I applied for was a giant scammy scam. I've been looking for jobs that pay pretty well and are in the area because the medic job I'm waiting for is a ways away and when all is said and done with gas money and whatnot, it'll only pay about $11/hour. Anyway, this job I applied for was an "Executive Assistant" position with the Boys & Girls Club of the Twin Cities. In my head, I was like, "sweet! It'll be just like The Devil Wears Prada but in a nonprofit and with underprivileged youth!" I knew it was too good to be true. It said it paid $18-21/hour. Whaaaaaat? That's crazy! I got an email after I applied and it said "Hello, we've received over 20 applications!" Whoa, 20?! No way. "Of those 20, we've chosen 4 applicants to interview!" Only 4?! NO WAY. "You're one of those 4!!" WHAT?! ME?! "But first, we need you to fill out this credit report because you'll be handling the company credit card." Ehhhh.... I dunno about that... Sounds a little scammy. But hey, it's a nonprofit. Nonprofits don't lie! Or do they...? I Googled the credit report website and saw a whole bunch of "STOP! DON'T DO IT!" and "DON'T BE AN IDIOT, TURN BACK NOW!" comments about it. Hey, I'm no idiot so I didn't do it. I emailed the lady back just to make sure it was shenanigans saying, "Let's schedule an interview, my schedule is flexible!" She replied (with a different email address than the first) saying, "No, you need to credit report. Credit report very important to us." Apparently, scammy companies have something against articles.
The lesson: don't use Craigslist as a job search tool and NEVER trust a nonprofit. Ever! I can avoid all scams by staying unemployed, right? Trying to obtain gainful employment will inevitably wind up with me losing my identity and all $102 in my bank account. It's not worth it! Hermit-hood, here I come.