Okay, so I didn’t get that job with Allina. I really didn’t expect to so I’m not surprised nor am I bummed out. Honestly, I’m a little relieved. I loved medicine but my heart isn’t in it as much as it is in comedy. The only problem with comedy is that there’s very little money in it. Actually, there’s plenty of money in it, I just need to put my nose to the grindstone and get going with it. Below is a list of things I need to do to get my comedy career off the ground:
1.) Make a video of my set.
Done. I now have a video (thank you, Ms. Blaylock for filming) of my set. It’s under the videos link on the left side of the screen. Check. It. Out! It was a really great set and I had a ton of fun. It was filmed at Cause for the Sauce Comedy Showcase put on by the delightful Laura Westley-Williams. I had a blast! I hope I can do it again soon.
2.) Write more.
A lot of my material was written like 4 years ago and while I still love it and it still works, I really need to buckle down and make myself write every single day. It doesn’t have to be funny, it just needs to be done.
3.) Send out said video tape and headshots to various clubs.
4.) Write a bunch of dick and rape jokes.
Audiences love dick and rape jokes.
5.) Have a freakin amazing time.
Happening already. This might not have anything to do with being successful as a comic, but it’s happening and I’m psyched about. I’ll explain more later in this bleorg.
6.) Learn how to do magic.
Audiences love magic.
If I follow all of these steps, I’ll be on Letterman in no time! He’s still on t.v., right?
As for having an awesome time, I’m totally on that. Only when I think about paying off my student loans do I get bummed out. As Alanis Morrisette brayed, “I’m broke but I’m happy.” I’m also short and healthy, poor and kind (hopefully), and sane and overwhelmed. That song is totally about me. I don’t really keep my hands in my pockets though, I’m more of a thumb-in-a-belt-loop kinda girl.
Despite being broke, I bought tickets to Lollapalooza this year. I bought two tickets for the first day of the festival. I decided to buy them because every year I’m like, “man, what a great line-up… I wish I could go but this darn job is in the way.” Now I don’t have a job in my way so I can do whatever I want, right!?
Here are the 4 reasons I decided to buy the tickets:
1.) Metric is playing.
2.) The Shins are playing.
3.) The Black Keys are playing.
4.) Black Sabbath is playing.
Oh, I almost forgot….
DIE FOKKEN ANTWOORD is playing!!!!
Sweet sweet YoLandi Vi$$er. So worth it. I can’t wait to go. While I’m in Chicago, I plan on seeing Second City and that big bean thing. I’m going take the least stereotypical reflecting bean picture you’ve ever seen. I’m also going to take a picture of my reflection in YoLandi’s shiny gold pants because I’ll be right up front. It’s gonna be awesome!!!
Other things that happened this week include but are not limited to:
1.) I re-connected with someone I adore.
2.) I extended my (f)unemployment benefits.
3.) I played softball with a bunch of improvisers and we won and it was so much fun because I love playing softball and I can bat left handed and I’m actually not that bad at it, I’m not a very good catcher though but that’s ok because we still won.
4.) My dog Annie got a giant lump taken off of her back. Seriously, this thing was at least a double D. I was a little jealous. Now she looks like someone attacked her with an axe because she has a big incision on her back. She’s ok though. Poor puppy.
5.) The Twins beat the Royals.
6.) We took promo pictures for the Class of ’94. I’ll post them later today. Get ready for some sweet early ‘90s booty pictures.
So in all, this week has been pretty sweet. As far as I’m concerned, it will only get sweeter.
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