I never really cared that much about mine but in the last month or so they've grown at least a cup size. Bizarre, right? No, I'm not knocked up. I think I'm just getting fatter. My strict regimen of sleeping until noon and eating nothing but Cheez-Its and Pizza Rolls has failed me! As long as I can keep the chesty part and tone up the rest of me, I'm ok with this.
While I'm not "fat" in any way, I have gained some weight since last Fall. Last Summer I lost a buttload of weight and got down to an unhealthy but enviable 114 lbs. I didn't do it in a healthy way at all. I got really sad and just stopped eating. I wasn't hungry. Some people would call that "anorexia," I just call it "losing my job, getting dumped and my favorite band breaking up." As completely unhealthy as I was, I had a lot of people say, "wow, Carolyn, you're looking great!" Obviously my brain was confused about what to think. In any case, I finally started eating again because I got happy and I stopped looking like a suckerhead.
The problem was that I thought I could eat anything I wanted and still look like an upside down mop. This was the case for a few months but now it's catching up to me. My high-waisted jean shorts for my show Class of '94 (Fridays in August and September at HUGE Improv Theater) started feeling tight and my skinny jeans started looking more like leggings. Now, if anyone has a problem with self discipline, it's me. I can't make myself do anything. If I tell myself I'm going to do something, I rebel and do the complete opposite. I have a problem with authority, ok?
My schedule goes something like this: getting up at noon, checking various social networking sites on the World Wide Web, maybe a shower, maybe some food, a nap in there somewhere, probably going to HUGE at some point, staying up until 4am watching trashy cable shows and infomercials, going back to bed, repeat as needed.
In an effort to motivate myself to start working out again, I bought a pair of tennis shoes.
Like I said, I've been watching a lot of infomercials lately. I keep seeing the Booty Blaster and TapOut and Insanity and P90X and it excites me! It makes me think, "Hey... if that firefighter from Pittsburgh can do it... and that 40 year old mother of quadruplets can do it.... and that double amputee who just got a liver transplant can do it... MAYBE I CAN DO IT, TOO!!" It makes me want to workout NOW!! Except that "now" is usually 4am and society frowns upon people working out at that time of night. (By "society" I mean my parents.)
As the grandmother of one of my friends from Junior High used to say, "every time I get the urge to exercise, I just sit back, have a cigarette and wait for the urge to pass..." Quality advice.
My mom has the same problem I do. She gets excited about working out and eating right for about 2 weeks and then somehow a large, triple topping pizza with extra cheese and gratuitous amount of garlic butter shows up at the front door. Hm. From one of her past exercise excursions, I found her Zumba DVDs and I thought to myself, "Hey... let's give it a shot, eh? What do we have to lose?" A rolled ankle and a dislocated shoulder, that's what.
But no, really. I did the Zumba today and it felt good. They claimed that the workout would be "fun." AND IT WAS! They say you can lose a whole dress size in 10 days if you follow their workout guidelines. I plan on doing this. Ten days isn't that many days. Ten days of watching Alberto "Beto" Perez gyrate and thrust his Colombian hips all over the place. They always say you have to sacrifice something (in this case, my eyeballs) to get what you want. LET'S DO THIS!!
Here's some Twitter for your Tweeting Pleasure: