Everyone loses or drifts away from friends, right? It's part of growing up and living and changing. There are a few types of friend loss. First, there's infant friend loss:
Baby #1: *hands Baby #2 a Tickle Me Elmo or a Tamagichi or whatever kids play with these days*
Baby #2: *takes the toy without thanking the other kid and gets his kid goo all over it*
Baby #1: *grabs the toy back and laughs as Baby #2 cries and cries*
Then there's the elementary school friend loss:
Kid #1: Hey, you like Tamagachis?? Me too!
Kid #2: Yeah! Let's be friends forever and have a sleepover!
*at the sleepover*
Kid #1: I peed in your sleeping bag... I wanna go home.
Kid #2: YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND ANYMORE!
And of course there's the moving away friend loss:
Teenager #1: I'm going to Washburn for high school, where are you going?
Teenager #2: Denmark.
Teenager #1: Myspace me!
But then there's the adult friend loss. Losing friends sucks in any circumstance but when you're an adult it really sucks. I'm not gonna lie, I had very few friends throughout elementary school. I was the chubby kid with zits who only listened to KOOL 108 (the oldies station) and wore oversized novelty t-shirts with sayings like, "Lutefisk: It's Not Just For Breakfast Anymore!" So when I entered junior high, I was semi-determined to be a different person. I wore regular people clothes and puberty had made me a normal, skinny 13 year old.
I met my first real friend on the first day of high school orientation. She was the cooooolest. She introduced me Nirvana. Before meeting her, the most recent band I was familiar with was ABBA. She really helped shape me into the person I am today. Without her, I never would've discovered R.E.M. or SNL or Hot Topic or Ragstock or anything remotely cool, really. Not that Hot Topic is cool but it totally was back in the day.
I have so many memories of us being carted around by our moms to the mall and hanging out there all day like some kind of 90's movie cliche. We went to concerts, plays, protests, movies - pretty much any event you can place a teenager at. It was a blast. We went to the Brave New Workshop a lot, too. I wouldn't be into improv or standup comedy right now if it weren't for her. Actually, I'm pretty sure I'd be some kind of super smart linguist and I'd be way better at math.
Like all friendships, ours went up and down with jealousy and differing interests and whatnot but I always expected us to stabilize and go back to hanging out eventually. I expected us to be buddies forever. Old lady buddies with no teeth and diapers on, laughing about the time we saw Goldmember 4 times in the theater together. I figured she'd be my maid of honor whenever I got hitched and I'd be a bridesmaid for her wedding. It's pretty obvious at this point that none of those things will be happening.
I'm not sure what sparked it but she decided to end our friendship this past summer. We had an apartment together and in April, she told me she thought I should move out when the lease was up at the end of July. To say the least, it was awkward and uncomfortable and I felt incredibly unwelcome for those 3 months.
I know she has her reasons and I've got my suspicions but all of that aside, it's a shame to end a 14 year friendship like this. I could've handled us drifting apart naturally based on our differing interests but being friend-dumped via e-mail, text and Facebook is hard to take. We haven't spoken in months. It's bizarre. She was always someone I could call up and go to coffee or lunch or thrifting with. I guess I'll have to call someone else now. If not for my improv community, I would probably be taking this much harder. I have a support system which is great but that doesn't really make up for a giant part of my life disappearing. Like I said, it's part of life to lose friends and move on but man, it sucks.
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